Move aside – BMW’s new X5 M is the world’s most powerful SUV. And this time the “M” stands for “mad”.

MUNICH, GERMANY — Reasons to buy a BMW X5 M: you want something fast and flashy, like a Porsche 911, but the wife thinks it’s too impractical (translation: she doesn’t want the attention from other women a car like that would bring).

Or maybe you’re a big fan of BMW’s big SUV (Sports Utility Vehicle, though BMW prefers to call it a “Sports Activity Vehicle”), and you want the fastest, meanest one available.

Either way, the X5 M was created for you.

If you’re familiar with BMW’s “M” subsidiary, then you should recognise the plot here. Petrol flows through the taps at M headquarters, and a quick look at the company’s efforts with the X5 pretty much tells you they were high on the fumes when they created it.

The front of the car is pretty much all grille, signifying the car’s enormous need for fresh air.

There are ten radiators in all, providing cooling for the water, oil, transmission fluid, and intake air, and they take up so much space that you can’t specify active cruise control on the X5 M because BMW couldn’t find room for the radar unit.

The engine itself, of course, gulps down oxygen like nobody’s business. It needs it all, to burn enough fuel for an almighty 567bhp output. That makes the X5 M (along with its more shapely mechanical sister, the X6 M) the most powerful BMW in production.

(An anniversary edition of the M5 had 592bhp. Two have been sold in Singapore and only one’s left for sale, so hurry up if you want the bragging rights.)

Let’s put 567bhp into perspective: the BMW’s twin-turbo V8 is more powerful than, say, any engine Lamborghini ever installed in the Gallardo.

That said, the twin-turbo V8 has a 2.3-tonne SUV to haul around, so the resulting acceleration isn’t the explosive sort that tends to rearrange your facial features into all kinds of comical expressions (though the same probably can’t be said for your passengers).

Instead, it feels more like a relentless surge, like a jet whooshing along a runway for takeoff.

Mind you, the turbos spool up mighty fast, so there’s always an instant slug of torque available. Tap the accelerator, and the X5 M leaps into action like it’s spoiling for a fight with someone.

It’s all highly addictive, and it’s seldom frightening because the big BMW is so stable. Our test car came fitted with the optional 280km/h top speed (instead of the usual 250km/h limit), and even past 270km/h the BMW just feels like it’s trundling along, calmly punching a giant hole through the air. Given the X5 M’s fierce front-end styling, people on the autobahn tend to get out of its way, too.

Believe me, that doesn’t always happen as hastily as you need it to when you’ve got the afterburners switched on in the fast lane.

That’s the autobahn experience, anyway. When you’ve set the navigation for some hills in search of B-roads, the X5 M is surprisingly game. The car has modified suspension — the springs are different from an X5’s, as are the dampers, the suspension arms, basically the works — and it rides on supremely sticky, tailor-made Michelin Pilot Super Sport tyres.

The whole lot sits 10mm lower to the ground, and there’s an active anti-roll system that all but eliminates body roll.

With all that in place, all that’s left for you to do is take aim at corners and pretty much let the BMW do the rest.

It’s not the detached, disengaged activity I’ve made it sound like, either. The X5 M has loads of steering feel (maybe even more than an M4), and when you turn the wheel, the BMW responds so faithfully that you seldom have to make corrections mid-turn.

It simply feels like a tool designed to let you carve precise paths through space and time, and if you enjoy precision, you’ll love the X5 M.

In that respect, it’s way different from the previous car, which sometimes felt like its suspension was overwhelmed by the flab of its body.

Instead, the new X5 M seems to shrink around you as you pick up the pace, letting you focus on threading it through corners like you would a hot hatch.

At some point, of course, physics take over and the tyres start to slip, but it happens with plenty of warning, and it’s pretty easy to recover from.

It rained a lot when I drove the car, and I thought the X5 M would be terrifying in slippery conditions, but it just isn’t.

You don’t get huge, pants-wetting understeery moments. You can even powerslide it a bit out of corners, as long as you’re in a driving mode that tells the stability control to close one eye.

But if the “M” badge on the tailgate led you to expect that it would handle well, then the biggest surprise is how the BMW tackles bumps and poor road surfaces. Its handling prowess simply hasn’t come at the expense of ride quality, and it rolls over pock-marked tarmac with the sort of unflustered calm that a butler would struggle to match.

It’s actually pretty clear that the engineers worked hard to pull off the Jekyll and Hyde stuff.

As with the other M models, the X5 has an array of buttons that offer you three setting each for damper firmness, engine response, gearbox aggression and steering weight. In each case, “Comfort” really does mean that.

A flap in the exhaust even gives you three levels of loudness to choose from, though the X5 M seldom emits much more than a cultured ruffle, and the occasional sound of gunshot from the tailpipes during a fast gearchange.

MORE: We tested the X6 M on a Formula One circuit

Indeed, with everything on its softess setting the X5 M is as gentle a beast as ever strolled the Earth. The gearbox is probably the most unrefined thing about it, sometimes engaging gears abruptly, but at least it now offers eight speeds for both better performance and a smaller appetite for fuel than the previous X5 M.

Not small enough to avoid a $30,000 CEVS penalty come July, alas. But you’ll probably do better than the 17.5L/100km we saw after nearly 900km of spirited driving, and anyway this thing has more power than a Lambo, so what do you expect?

Above all, it’s better value than any supercar, anyway. There are five seats, and the interior does feel like a class act. In our test car it was draped in carbon fibre, and had a lovely Alcantara roof liner.<
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The BMW’s front seats look deliciously racy, and the gearshifter is the M-style semi-auto one. Even the steering wheel is wrapped in extra-grippy leather, and the paddle shifters are made of metal instead of plastic.

It all adds up to an SUV that doesn’t just offer breathtaking speed, but plenty of attitude as well. It’s actually that second quality that makes it a proper M car.

The launch price of just over half a million dollars makes it decent value, actually. On a horsepower-per-dollar basis, the X5 M is actually pretty untouchable, though that price is for a car that’s pretty naked.

A $32,000 options pack puts in things like satellite navigation, a panoramic roof, 21-inch wheels and a fancy sound system.

It’s a pity, though, that you can’t have it with seven seats, like in a regular X5. Then the wife really wouldn’t have anything to object to.

NEED TO KNOW BMW X5 M
Engine 4.4-litre, 32V, twin-turbo V8
Power 567bhp at 6000 to 6500rpm
Torque 750Nm at 2200 to 5000rpm
Gearbox 8-speed automatic
Top Speed 250km/h (limited)
0-100kmh 4.2 seconds 
Fuel efficiency 11.1L/100km
CO2 258g/km
Price $509,800 with COE
Availability May 23 2015