Man who has held specific occupation for two lifetimes* takes steps to ensure it is not forever

SINGAPORE

It is with a mix of jubilation and sadness that we announce that Ucars’ Head of Content, and CarBuyer’s former Chief Editor, Derryn Wong, will be finding a new job.

CarBuyer attempted to reach him for a quote, but he tried to vomit his entire CV at the writer, using words such as ‘accomplishment’ ‘leveraged’ ‘skillset’ and ‘blancmange’. 

He has been a journalist/editor for two lifespans (*Unhealthy dog, normal guinea pig, or long-lived rat, i.e.16 years), which is a suspiciously long time for any sane, well-adjusted being.

When quizzed on what his next steps would be, the answers were “left, right, left, right, right, avoid dog poop, right” and “into a jacuzzi”. At the time of this story’s publication, he would neither confirm nor deny allegations that he would step up to the mantle of Full Time Cat Slave. He said it would be marginally less taxing than his current role, and cleaning up cat poop would be easier than editing the writers’ work into something resembling acceptable copy. This is an obvious untruth.

When quizzed on the memories he would cherish the most, he continued to dissimulate.

“After 16 years, I’d say the real value is the Friends We Made along the way,” he said. “I mean that’s pretty much what everyone expects to hear, right?”

After deleting all references to his glorious, shining, illustrious CV, here is a QnA, heavily edited for clarity.

Why are you doing this?
Everyone has this thing they do, called a ‘job’. If you’re unhappily married, it gives you an excuse to leave the house everyday. If you’re happily married, it gives you an excuse to leave the house everyday and have a house. Every once in a while, people have been known to ‘change’ this ‘job’.


Why have you quit?
Nobody ‘quits’ anything now. My path is diverging from my current one in order to pursue new challenges’ or ‘take time off to find myself’ although even if I do I will probably dislike the result. 


What is your next job?

My current vector is splitting off on a new tangent in order to chase novel opportunities and gain employment texture as well as leveraging new experiential dynamics.

In English?
I don’t know how to say that in English, sorry.

What do you have to say to everyone?
To quote C.S. Lewis : “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”


What do you have to say to your media/industry colleagues?
For those marketing and public relations/communications, you need to take a break before you explode. Oh wait, it’s too late.

For the other journalists, you all are largely a bunch of reprobates, which is why I stuck around so long.

What were your most cherished memories?
Honestly there are too many to recount here. But those episodes are immaterial, and more more honestly, it was my honour and pleasure to lead, and be a part of, the teams at CarBuyer Singapore and Top Gear Singapore. 

Lionel, Darryl, Ben, Luke, Kim, Naz, from the CarBuyer side, and David, Clifford, Jay, and Keith from the Top Gear Side, all supported by our wonderful colleagues in Ucars’ marketing and marketplace – Skye, Jerielle, Samantha, Julie, Keith, Jonathan, and Elaine, and not forgetting the indomitable Annie for keeping the whole ship running. 

Secondly, the Singapore car industry may be the toughest place to sell motors anywhere in the world, but the people in it are top-class, and I will cherish the friendships, as well as the rivalries.

This is not a lie. Are you going to ask me about the not-so-cherished ones?
No.